N’at Man Fan Fiction

This is totally unrelated to Starfighter General other than showcasing how a criminal might be portrayed and also the creativity level in this game. This is Fan Fiction from old local radio station DJs.

First a tip about Modern Day Creativity all creators should know: If you write down all your creative things you think about, sometimes you get more creative ideas than your current projects can use. We all are creative all the time, but not all of us choose to write down the creative things we think of to remember them. If you write them down then someday you simply have to organize them together and you have books, video game plots, movie scripts and in this case, a comedy skit.


For those of you who have never heard of Scott Paulsen and Jim Krenn comedy team for WDVE, they were so funny that they had the highest ratings of any radio DJS ever and well deserved. They dominated the radio and yet Scott Paulsen left and Jim Krenn got fired without them giving him a reason(hint cancel culture).


For those of you who have never heard N’At man on the radio, listen to these primers before reading my script for one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm4esb4f3Zs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm4esb4f3Zs

For Pittsburgh, that is high art! Okay, now that we got you up to speed, I present you: N’atman and the Flatulator

Mayor Brett Keisel,”N’atman, I called you here for an important financial meeting.”


N’atman,”If its about the 30 bucks I owe you from cards the other week, you know, I’m still working on it. Funds are tight lately, inflation and all.”


Keisel,”No, I’m afraid this meeting is more dire than, hey wait, ain’t you a billionaire, why you giving me that line?”


Robert,”Mulhactchy, I think he knows your real identity”


N’atman,”Of course he does Robert. Everyone in the Tri State area does. You posted drunken photos of us on instagram to try and impress some instagram models. Remember? How’s that working out?”


Robert,”N’atman, I’ll have you know, I’m personally talking to this one girl who’s so lonely that and she says I’m her only fan. I have an angle. I’m paying her money, and I ain’t even asking for anything in return. I’m just building trust.” “Hey, anyway, if anyone knows who you are, why hasn’t anyone offed you yet?”


N’atman,”Simple boy fund her. I just ran gambling debts up with so many people, they don’t want to kill me or they’ll not see their money.”


*wack is heard*


Robery,”Brett, why’d you whack N’atman?”


Keisel,”You know, he’s right. I don’t want to kill him, but he’s acting like a jag off to run a system like that.”


Robert,”Hah, N’atman, he called you a jag off.”


N’atman,”Shut up Robert.”


Robert,”Make me N’atman.”


*Another wack is heard*


Robert,”Hey, that actually hurt unlike when N’atman slaps me.”

Keisel,”I have an important unpaid mission for you guys. Are you going shutup and listen or will I have to smack you around smore til you volunteer for this public service?”


*crickets heard*


Keisel,”Okay, there’s been some foul stenches coming from downtown.”


Robert,”Oh that’s just the bus garages.”


Keisel,”No, this stench lingers even when the busses go by.”


N’atman,”If isn’t another meth lab at the Church Brewworks, only one man would dare have to let it linger.”


Robert and N’atman together,”The Flatulator!”


Keisel,”Yes, my office knows about this, but we can’t let the public know about the threat of bioterrorism. The panic might cause a public health concern as they flee to East Liverpool.”


*Shudder sounds from the crew*


N’atman,”The secret is safe with me. Robert, can you keep this one off facebook?”


*another wack is heard*


Put your damn mobile device down, we got to roll. Hey Brett, before we book it, got any tools to help us fight the Flatulator?


Brett,”Fraid not. All we have is that clothespin you put on the Piddler 25 years ago. You could save yourself in a pinch.”


N’atman,”Save it for yourself, and lets hope it doesn’t come to that.”


– *bat transition sound*


Flatulator,”Hey dynamic duo, you owe me.”


Robert,”Wow, N’atman, we didn’t even have to track him down. That takes half the fun out of our show. We could lose viewers, this could be the end for us!”


N’atman,”Indeed Robert. Flatulator, what do we owe you? As far as I know, this is the first time we met.”


Flatulator,”Last week, Queens full.”


Robert,”N’atman, he’s giving us a clue. I think he clogged the toilets in New York!”


N’atman,”Nah Robert, this is Harry Newbower, from Swissvale, we had a game in Oakland, he beat me with a full house, Queens over eights.”


Robert,”What did you have?”


Flatulator,”A flush! Now that you know my real name, just Venmo me the money. In the meanwhile, I need to blow you away that you know my real identity.”


N’atman,”Hah! Attaboy Robert! Finally you used your mobile device for good use. As we speak, Boy Wonder is doxing your info to instagram.”


Robert,”Hold on Mcatchey, I’m busy sending money to that chickado. Way more important. Hey, take a break, I got you a Sheetz coffee N’atman”


N’atman,”Well I guess if I’m going to die along side an idiot, I’ll have my last drink. Thanks Boy Wonder. You’re a real pal.”


Flatulator,”I’ll take that! I’m not going to let you enjoy any moments before you pass away from me passing gas.”


Robert and N’atman choke. cough gag.


Robert,”Oh gosh N’atman, he smells worse than your underwear after a day at Sandcastle.”


Flatulator,”Mmm, this coffee is so smooth. You say Sheetz coffee?”


Robert,”Yeah, I got a subscription, just get the app. You should try their MTO. They got a lotta good stuff.”


Flatulator,”Thanks for the advice, I almost wish I didn’t have to kill you, but I finished this coffee, and wait! N’atman, you still owe me 2$. I can’t kill you.”


N’atman,”That’s right. So turn yourself in!”


Flatulator,”I won’t kill you, but I can make your life so miserable that you’d be better off dead. “


Robert,”Oh crap!”


Flatulator,”You wish! I’m about to let one rip. And it ain’t no ordinary fart my friends. I invented a DNA altering chemical that moves from fart to fart making others farts more pungent and frequent, but it has to transmit from one fart cloud to another. You know that inflation in Giant Eagle? Think that was Biden? Think again! That was my doing! I wanted everyone poor so they could only afford beans! Now that everyone’s eating beans for every meal. At this moment there’s a latent fart haze across all of Pittsburgh from all the tooting. Once I let this one rip, it’s the big one, everyone will have my fart’s DNA and nothing will ever smell pleasant again.”


*shart sound happens*


Robert: He sharted and that weren’t no baby shart


Flatulator,”WHAT! I never lose a gamble! This is a load of crap!”


Robert,”You can say that again. We’ll swing by pants n at on the way Allegenhy county.”


Flatulator,”I still don’t get it! How could this be?”


Robert,”Oh I put Exlax in your coffee cuz you’re a dork. Hey N’atman, I you can have my cup since Harry drank yours.”


N’atman,”My powers of N’at deduction determine that coffee was meant for me.”


Robert,”Yeah, but this cup was mine, and you can have it since I’m such a nice guy n all. Remember what you said before ‘We’re real pals’. So you want my coffee?”


N’atman,”Uh, nah.”


Robert,”Me either”, throws it out.


–narrator exit commentary—

Play Now!

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Paypal: james_sager_pa@yahoo.com

Venmo: @James-Sager-16


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#1 IN THE WORLD at Starcraft/Broodwar/Warcraft3/Diablo2 Hardcore/Command and Conquer3/Starcraft2 2v2. GOAT.
Before Pinky and The Brain, The Parapalegic Mice Team existed, and I told everyone in my school for weeks in hopes someone knew someone at WB/Disney/HB to make a tv show of two mice taking over the world. Next Year Pinky and The Brain was out.

1) 10-1000x things rendered with new DOTS/ECS UNITY tech that unlocks more than just one core that most video games use: Parallel Processing done right.

2) Networking that pushes the envelope where no networking has gone before. People laugh at this like it is impossible to innovate, but I marketed it to Midway in 2003, and they laughed too. Meanwhile it was working in house as a Tekken style(3d fighter) MMO with part of what today is known as rollback code. Midway’s manager was mocking what is today’s standard thinking rollback and such was impossible. Infinite action players same zone, limit only by video card and other hardware, networking ain’t a limiting thing anymore.

3) Lore/Game Mechanics based on a custom TTRPG (Intergalactic Bounty Hunter) that most everyone liked more than any RPG. RPG rules are based on Wasteland from the Commodore 64 set in space. The space flight is the spiritual successor of 90s DOS Xwing vs Tiefighter hits that everyone was disappointed ended. I had to make my own RPG, Dungeons and Dragons armor not reducing damage did not sit well.

4) First MMO designed for late game. Everyone enjoys mmos until power capped and then get bored.
There is no power cap to begin with(just a log log logarithmic progression), but there are many many many other end game design elements to make it so want to keep playing end game! The grind is there, but better and more fun things are around too! You can build up a super big fleet and it get destroyed to pieces and you start over again. You have a power floor level that you can’t go below so you’re always building permanent power, but temporary spikes of power surges and galactic dominance for fleeting moments give a rush. The larger the fleet, the larger the fleeting moment.

5) Easter Eggs: Will contain literal Easter Eggs. You find an Easter Egg in a quest. Then you hide somewhere in space. Every day it isn’t found by another player, you get a daily reward that increases. When they find it, they get an instant reward! Then the egg comes back to you. Enjoy. Go find some place obscure in the game, space is big.

6) Space Dungeons: Competitive zones with different rules, find em, dominate em, and can you find the clues around space to find the one which will be dropping special event rewards?

7) Resource Trading like Elite, but also factory building like Factorio and Satisfactory. Your economy and drones can build stuff up, but make sure no pirate, NPC or player tries to sabotage your supply chain. There will be illegal substances like fictitious drugs and contraband weapons which you can profit from greatly, but you risk your cargo being scanned by a random and getting a bounty on your head.

8) PVP bounty system. Everyone can PVP at all times. Stakes are low if your ship explodes. If you get attacked without declaring aggressive mode or an opponent to duel, the aggressor gets a bounty on their head in accordance with the damage dealt to you. If this bounty gets high enough, and they get caught, they will be put in jail. When they log on for the next few hours or days, their character can play only in jail, and visitors come see him and such. Enjoy roleplaying being a prison inmate, or just use a different crew member on your account. Developing many crew members is a thing for when you fly capital ships.

9) Grand Space Opera-> 4x emperors around you trying to conquer the galaxy like Master of Orion on a 500 billionish system scale! They ain’t even players at first, just NPCs waging war. Who’s side will you choose? Will it be based on morality or space bucks? Ok soldier of fortune, what it will be? Do it for the money, until you realize money doesn’t mean anything living under a totalitarian empire.

10) Omnipotent roleplay: Earn your right into a a movie anime by great roleplay! Live game masters in about 6-12 months after the content updates roll through. We bias people with Founder’s RP tokens some and good manner role players who stay in character(we have chat logs and even game logs). This promotes good role play even when not live GMing. Who doesn’t want to bring their friends to a movie and surprise em with their own character in it? So stay in character for a better game! https://www.starfightergeneral.com/live-role-play/

Punky-Pulpy action, Levels, stats, skills, talents, items, fleet amassing, and great apocalyptic space plots, trippy Lewis Carrol level Mad Hatter humor along the way. It’s really weird to see how this synergizes from a game design standpoint. Players naturally want to level up and power up… That’s the twink min maxer in all of us. So when humor, plots, intrigue, or NPCs getting your blood boiling to action vs them happens, you get stoked, rewarded, happy and tossed off your axis. Then when resolved, you look back and get serious about powering up. The core of a RPG gamer is always powering up, it is something we can’t get rid of, but the core of a game designer is to get you out of a spreadsheet mindset temporarily… And then you appreciate both more. So tacky humor, along serious pulp action and serious leveling up game mechanics… It is like a symphony of fun.

Game made by a soul gamer out for the player’s best interest. 150,000 hours experience #1 in many online ladders world. I don’t care about money. I just want to play games and help the poor and sick. I want you to have faith in the spirit of love.

Are you down? Cuz I need help, like crowd source and pray for me to get this out faster. If you don’t help me, it’s still coming out.

or

Get and Play Starfighter General for Free (type of morally good free that doesn’t exploit or abuse players and gives all the content available).


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